I just can't see....

 Growing up, I had dreams of becoming a veterinarian; I would spend hours watching Animal Planet once I got home from school. I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do, why I wanted to provide care for animals. Now listen, I had a few nonnegotiables already in mind as a future veterinarian, I would not care for any reptiles and hire an assistant to help care for cats because cats just don't like me, and I feel the same way! 

I will never forget the moment someone told me that I would have to practice on cadavers in school and see some pretty gory things. Not only did I respect this person, but they were significant in my life at the time; they knew my fear of death and seeing dead bodies and animals, so to hear them blatantly say that scared me. I vividly remember being shocked, hurt, and disgusted. I was very young, so I had plenty of time to figure my career path out, but being a veterinarian was in my heart. 

As some time passed, I started entertaining the idea of becoming a nurse, yet again that thought popped in my head "you know you will have to practice on cadavers and see some gory stuff. Are you sure you can handle that?" In my freshmen year at Liberty University, I was constantly reminded by professors and other students that nursing school was a very competitive school and being accepted was hard but not impossible. Again, with that in mind, I began to decline not just in my educational pursuit but emotionally; I just couldn't understand why there were doubt, rejection, negative thoughts, and opinions that were being thrown my way. I was fresh out of high school attending LU, lost. 

Feeling lost at such a young age was devastating; it felt like I was suffocating. My life was so disorganized I was failing my classes and honestly just longing for my mid-day nap session in my dorm room. I had no motivation, no drive, and honestly, I didn't know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Now looking back, I am sure many of us didn't know exactly what we wanted to do with the rest of our lives. And guess what? If you knew what you wanted to study or pursue in the future, kudos to you!! But, as for me... I had no idea. 

After my freshmen year at LU, I withdrew and enrolled in the local community college to pursue education; I figured it was a safe career path; there was and will always be a need for caring and loving teachers. I knew I could be a good teacher, love my students and live a comfortable life. I did end up pursuing my goal to become a teacher, and that is the field I currently work in but looking back, I just can't see. 

I can't see why someone I trusted would discourage me from pursuing my first passion. I can't see why I allowed those negative words from professors or peers to persuade me to give up on my aspiration to be a nurse. I can't see why I chose to abandon the things that made me happy to pursue a comfortable and safe career.

I just can't see how the vision for my life became distorted. I am just now piecing together what I want for my future career, and this time no one will stop me!

 I pray that my future child sees clearly what God has for them regardless of what others say. I pray that your vision is restored and that you have the courage to go after everything God has for you. When others come to you and start to speak negative thoughts or words over your life, simply remind them, "I just can't see what you are saying. I cant envision that for my life, I have a plan and a purpose!"

You have a purpose! You were never designed to see what they see; it's your vision! 


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