Dancing With The Scars

From the day I was born up until I was about 6 months old I was given every opportunity to fight for my life. (Special thanks to every NICU nurse & doctor!!) As a result of being born prematurely I have permanent IV scars all over my body. As I grew older I began to experience some internal scars from the people I was surrounded by. Instead of them pushing me towards greatness they began stripping me of everything they didn’t like. It was no longer a life saving mission but a dream killing, spiritually threatening event. 

Scars.

 I have plenty of them and I am grateful for the ones that are visible to the naked eye, they are apart of my story it serves a purpose.  But what about the scars no one sees, the scars where the wound was so deep I can still feel the sting of the intial impact? The scars that don’t belong, the ones I never asked for? 

Scars. 

We all have scars and whether or not we confronted the pain or swept it under the rug, we still remember. I struggle in silence with my scars and only the people who are really close to me know about my inner battle. I fight with the memories of rejection, loss, grief and unacceptance. 

I remember growing up and begging God to never let my scars from when I was a baby fade away & now I’m begging God to help me FORGET the scars that others can’t see. 

It’s the scars that people can’t see that scare me. It’s the memory of the impact, it’s the pain that creeps up to the surface on a random Tuesday morning, it’s the fight that it takes to rise above and to forgive CONSTANTLY. These scars are the ones that shape my outlook on humanity. 

While I’m entitled to feel the pain of the intial wound it’s not my job to cover up the scar. I can’t bury the pain but I can ask God to reveal his purpose within it. I was designed to heal, recover, release & forgive. I can still dance with my scars, I can still live a full life with these internal markings and I can bodly declare Gods goodness in every wound I endured. 

Every scar, every open incision & every infected piece of me that just can’t seem to get better or heal is subject to the powerful and miraculous name of Jesus! 

I am beginning to see that every trail, defeat & sleepless night served a greater purpose. My scars are a reminder of an event in my life, it’s not my LIFE. The scars don’t own me, they cannot control me and they will no longer stop me! 

My Prayer for You:

I am praying for every person that is reading this. I am asking God to give you peace and strength to release anyone or anything that may have hurt you. May you walk in your freedom and may you smile freely.

You will overcome!! Praise your way through it!

See you on the dance floor!  

Special thanks to Pastor Leroy H. for speaking such a life changing word into my life. This piece was inspired by him.