Comparison Kills

I can vividly remember not even wanting to click the “post” button on my first blog piece. Why? Well because there was this little voice in the back of my mind reminding me that I don’t have what it takes.  Yes, I was good at putting words on paper and making things sound good but did actually believe the words I was writing?
No.
I didn’t feel adequate enough, smart enough or vulnerable enough to start a blog but I did it. I knew that I wasn’t doing it for the likes or comments but because my story mattered and I wanted to share it. I wasn’t expecting my blog to blow up overnight and to receive sponsorships from different companies, because I knew the content of the material that I was writing wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.  I knew that writing about my personal journey, my failures, heartache and ultimately my fears was in a way giving complete strangers the ammunition needed to tear me down. I just wanted to be honest and to share what God had given me so that’s what I did.
The comparison trap started with the small things such as my social media presence did I create a separate page for my blog or did I want to run everything from my personal page. If I split the two would the absence from my personal accounts cause me to lose followers?
Do I write once a week or every other week? Do I create a schedule? Do I have time to complete my to-do list before a post goes live? Am I engaging enough? Will my readers respond?  Never once did I stop and think of this amazing gift God had given me. The gift to write the very thing the enemy tried to keep me silent about, the ability to share and to no longer hide behind other peoples “perception” of me.  But with every bit of courage and excitement came a load of comparison.
I began to compare my blog to other blogs and bloggers; I needed a niche “something that accurately describes what I write about” and once I found my niche I needed to connect with other people.  I even thought about just shutting it down and starting a blog the following year but God kept tugging at my heart.  I came up with excuses and reasons as to why I wasn’t going to be able to blog consistently and all God wanted me to do was to be faithful with the time I spent writing. I had to be discipline enough to stick with the plan God has set before me and to embrace every opportunity that came my way. I had to learn to trust that I was not only worthy of the gift God gave me but blessed to have the opportunity to freely share what was on my heart.  Comparison can and will kill the very thing you fought so hard to achieve if you let it. You have to be discipline, faithful and willing to admit that you can’t do this alone. Develop a strong support system and focus on your journey!