Embracing Singleness (Throwback Edition)

I found this throwback piece earlier this week and couldn't understand why I never published it. There's freedom in remembering where God brought you from. What I was once afraid to say out loud is now being shared publicly. FYI this is a very transparent piece and I'm so glad I get to share it with you! -Trice C.

The Initial Shock:
I remember standing there in awe of what just took place; there was no way I could get through this. It was my decision to pick up that phone and honestly I had no idea that it would be this hard. I listened as he begged for me to rethink my decision but something magical happens when a woman has made up her mind. I knew I deserved better and I ultimately knew that I wasn’t ready to spend the rest of my life with this man.
Forgiveness is the Key:
I wish I could tell you that my broken heart healed quickly but that would be a lie, it literally took me about two years to really forgive myself and to forgive him. After ending my relationship I realized that the person I had become was vindictive, unhappy, depressed and okay with settling for less. I didn’t care about my dreams or goals and I was content with going to work, attending school at night and going to church when I felt like it. I was in a dark place in my life and no one was able to save me, I had to do some digging and I needed to forgive. I had to forgive myself for lowering my standards and for overlooking the damage that I allowed my spirit to endure, I had to release any guilt or shame that I was feeling because there was no way I could turn back the hands of time. There was no way to undo the damage that I had brought on myself and the hurt I had caused my family. I had to forgive him and truly let him go I could no longer hold him hostage and make him responsible for my dysfunction.
Embracing Singleness:
Embracing singleness is different for every person for me it was a long process and I had a lot of growing to do. The first thing I had to do was forgive and then I had to accept that this was my new reality and that being single wasn’t a bad thing.  Being single gave me a chance to rediscover who I was and what I love to do; it gave me a chance to start doing things on my own and to start loving myself. When you place your identity in a person and they break your heart you feel unworthy of love and that you don’t deserve to be happy. But when God snatches you out of something you realize how loved you really are and how this season of singleness isn’t a curse but an actual blessing.  The road to embracing singleness wasn’t easy as I stated before forgiveness is the key and I realized that I deserved to be free from all guilt and shame. I learned from my mistakes and told myself that I needed to be single for at least one year before entering into a relationship. Little did I know that God had other plans for me, here I am almost five years later and I am still single. Now that doesn’t mean men haven’t approached me but I know what God has called me to do and I must be connected with someone who understands the importance of having a relationship with Christ and someone who can understand my morals and values. Embracing singleness to me means that I no longer make excuses for someone else’s inability to properly love me, I accept where God has me and I move forward with my life until he sends me my future mate.
Knowing Christ during your single season is one of the best decisions you can make. Stay connected to the source and trust in HIS timing.


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