Overcomer Series: "Trice"

My View VS. His View

I am constantly challenging myself to do better, and to succeed in the midst of adversity. But what happens when your private struggles begin to take over? It’s easy for me to sit in a coffee shop with my girlfriend’s and inspire them to be the best in everything they do. It’s natural for me to sit on the phone for hours encouraging the people who mean the most to me but honestly when it comes to my personal life I struggle daily.
My insecurities surround me and day by day they continue to rise to the surface. My struggle hit and all time high when I noticed year after year I was still single and could never get past a certain stage with a guy. If he wasn’t there for one thing or another, then he drained the life out of me. I ultimately gave up on finding love and began to question myself. I was validated at a very young age, my father ensured that we knew our worth growing up. I was never the type to have guys lined up waiting to “Talk to me” I was never the type to just casually date. I just wasn’t that girl and I am okay with that.  I figured I would get married young and have a family. Honestly once I hit my mid-twenties that all I wanted, “to be a good wife and a wonderful mother.” I am always ensuring that others are taken care of and failed to take care of myself.  In the long run I see the damage that I caused. Yes! That’s right there are some instances where we willingly downplayed the hurt and just pushed past it. That was my motto growing up, “yes you are hurting but push past it.”  I am so thankful that even in the silent battles God gives me the strength to endure.
The hidden parts of us, God sees and reaches out to restore us.  I would try so hard to mask the pain and hide the emptiness, when God was simply trying to uncover the hidden junk and heal me. What I see and what Christ sees is two different things and when life doesn’t go as plan, it’s hard to remember that God still sees me.  I can quote scriptures all day that would empower and lift me up but when you allow the “junk” to rise it will eventually take over. I am learning day by day that every failed relationship, friendship and closed door brought me to this moment. A moment where I have no other choice but to believe the promises Christ has spoken over my life and that in DUE season the right one will come. I am learning that it’s my responsibility to love myself the way Christ loves me, to see the beauty that Christ sees in me and to show the love of Christ to others.
Every day I make a conscious effort to push past the insecurity and to be there for myself just like I am for others. My view on life, love and my appearance cannot be compared to what Christ sees inside of me.  I was validated before the failed relationships and the broken friendships. I was fearfully and wonderfully made before I allowed the outside perception change how I viewed myself. I was called and chosen before the doors were closed in my face.  My view will always lead me down the wrong path if I continue to ignore the promises and words of affirmation that God has spoken into my life.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5

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