Overcomer Series 2016: "Lindsee"
Our guest blogger is, Lindsee. I have known her for the past two years & her story is truly remarkable.
May 2015 I was fired from my dream job that I moved 3 hours away from my family to take. A few months prior to my firing I had renewed my lease at my apartment and did not want to pay the $2500 to break my lease. I honestly didn't think it would be that hard to find a full-time job, after all I did have two college degrees. I took the first job that I could get. It only paid $10 an hour. What was I supposed to do with that? So I picked up a part-time job on the weekends. That job only paid $7 an hour. Still not making ends meet I sunk into this feeling that I never felt before.
During this time I didn't tell my family or friends what was really going on. I would smile and laugh on the phone or out and about but every night I would cry myself to sleep. I would cry in the shower. I would randomly cry driving down the street. How did I get this low? Why did God let me fall? He was supposed to never leave me or forsake me but I had never felt so lonely in my life. Still needing more money to cover food and bills I got a third job working overnight stocking shelves in a retail store. This continued on for several months and the feelings of depression turned into suicidal thoughts. A few times I had contemplated driving over a bridge or purposely crashing head on into a concrete median.
Not knowing what to do and too much to tell my family what kind of mess I was really in all I could do was cry out to God. I was tired of being broke, tired of being lonely, tired of cry and weighed down from depression. I had not been to a church service since before my move in 2014. I honestly felt that I had let God down in our relationship; I mean I stopped talking to him so why even go to church. I have the Bible app and one morning my daily verse popped up and spoke to my situation Psalm 34:17(NIV) "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles."
You would think that between my situation, now barely being able to afford food and Jesus speaking to me through the Bible app I would be in church.......not! I had to admit to my family that I could barely afford my rent and food that finally. It was during this season that I realized that depression was just another tool for the enemy to attack me. He had already took everything from me physically, the only thing left was my mind. I pushed my pride aside and ask my family for help. My dad and my brother stepped right in, my dad called me and begged me to go to church. So I went.
I continued to go. I started to read my Bible again. One day on my beloved Bible app I came across Psalm 40:1-3(NIV). It says, "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him." I continued to seek God and go to church. By the end of the year God put me in a job making $5000 more than the job that fired me and with amazing benefits. I was able to go from three jobs and tired to one job and having free time. He truly did put a new song in my mouth. The more time I spent with God the more quiet the sounds of the enemy and depression got.
Whenever I get those feelings of depression I remind myself of what he did for me in 2015. If he did it before he can do it again.
May 2015 I was fired from my dream job that I moved 3 hours away from my family to take. A few months prior to my firing I had renewed my lease at my apartment and did not want to pay the $2500 to break my lease. I honestly didn't think it would be that hard to find a full-time job, after all I did have two college degrees. I took the first job that I could get. It only paid $10 an hour. What was I supposed to do with that? So I picked up a part-time job on the weekends. That job only paid $7 an hour. Still not making ends meet I sunk into this feeling that I never felt before.
During this time I didn't tell my family or friends what was really going on. I would smile and laugh on the phone or out and about but every night I would cry myself to sleep. I would cry in the shower. I would randomly cry driving down the street. How did I get this low? Why did God let me fall? He was supposed to never leave me or forsake me but I had never felt so lonely in my life. Still needing more money to cover food and bills I got a third job working overnight stocking shelves in a retail store. This continued on for several months and the feelings of depression turned into suicidal thoughts. A few times I had contemplated driving over a bridge or purposely crashing head on into a concrete median.
Not knowing what to do and too much to tell my family what kind of mess I was really in all I could do was cry out to God. I was tired of being broke, tired of being lonely, tired of cry and weighed down from depression. I had not been to a church service since before my move in 2014. I honestly felt that I had let God down in our relationship; I mean I stopped talking to him so why even go to church. I have the Bible app and one morning my daily verse popped up and spoke to my situation Psalm 34:17(NIV) "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles."
You would think that between my situation, now barely being able to afford food and Jesus speaking to me through the Bible app I would be in church.......not! I had to admit to my family that I could barely afford my rent and food that finally. It was during this season that I realized that depression was just another tool for the enemy to attack me. He had already took everything from me physically, the only thing left was my mind. I pushed my pride aside and ask my family for help. My dad and my brother stepped right in, my dad called me and begged me to go to church. So I went.
I continued to go. I started to read my Bible again. One day on my beloved Bible app I came across Psalm 40:1-3(NIV). It says, "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him." I continued to seek God and go to church. By the end of the year God put me in a job making $5000 more than the job that fired me and with amazing benefits. I was able to go from three jobs and tired to one job and having free time. He truly did put a new song in my mouth. The more time I spent with God the more quiet the sounds of the enemy and depression got.
Whenever I get those feelings of depression I remind myself of what he did for me in 2015. If he did it before he can do it again.
