Speak Father, for I am listening
Did you even hear my prayer last night? Nothing has changed
but some way; somehow I will find a way to make it through this day.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have said those
exact words. My frustration with God’s lack of responsiveness (or so I thought)
was growing. I would eventually drag myself out of bed and go about my day.
Still wondering and asking God was he too busy to come and help me. But I never
stopped to examine my heart and my current mindset. While I was praying God fix
this, God move and protect. My heart was simply saying, “God if you do this I
promise I will live right, I promise I will be more cautious with my words.”
But God saw my true motives and he knew that I was simply bargaining with him,
I wasn’t sincere in my prayer and ultimately I was giving him an ultimatum.
I am so thankful that God chooses to look past my mistakes
and still comes and sees about me. I will never forget reading Psalm 46:10 one
morning and it hit my like a ton of bricks. God spoke to me in that moment and
reminded me that while I was busy running around trying to fix things or cover
up the fact that I was falling apart emotionally and spiritually he was working
on my behalf. He was covering me while I tried to hold everything together
never giving him full control over the situation. God just wanted me to place my worries and my
issues at his feet and leave it there. I was so busy attempting to lay it at
his feet but as soon as I would get up off my knees I took the issue with me. I
carried it around on my back and on my shoulders; I felt that if God didn’t meet
my deadline then it was my job to fix it. I must admit I love to have control
over things whether it is planning a birthday event or a vacation, but when it
came to my spiritual life I would often approach God with that same mentality.
I have learned that God doesn’t operate in our timing, he
knows the plans that he has for my life and he knows that in every situation
there is something to be learned. “Be still and KNOW that I am God.” God has a
way of not only reminding you of who he is, but that you cannot fix things on
your own. “BE STILL” is such a simple command but it was definitely something I
struggled with. See to be still, you have to trust that God will work everything
out, not in your timing but in his timing. Patience, I needed to learn how to
be patient and the power of releasing it over to God. Giving God every pain,
hurt and burden gave me the opportunity to embrace my freedom and ultimately
learn how to trust God in the process. “And
know that I AM GOD.” He is and will always be God; there will never be another
who can take his place. He is God and will continue to reign on the throne for
eternity. Knowing that he is Lord over every situation, disappointment, pain
and defeat gives me the confidence to trust in him even more. He can fix any
situation even before we begin to formulate the words in our brain. God is all
knowing and is always present in every area of our lives. Even when we are
unfaithful and continue to live a life that doesn’t honor him he is still Lord
of all. He is GOD and we must know that he is always there.
When I get on my knees to say a prayer I not only need to
make my requests known but I had to learn how to leave it at his feet and trust
that he heard every word. In return I am learning to listen to him, I am no
longer just making requests but I am listening for his instructions on what to
do next. Over the past year my prayer
life has changed and I am growing daily. That’s what this walk is all about,
growing and learning. God doesn’t expect us to have it all together; he just
wants us to have an open heart and a willingness to receive whatever he has for
our lives.
Father, I ask you continue to guide each of us in our daily pursuits
to honor you. Where we lack I ask that you supply, where we fall short I ask
that you correct. Help me trust that you
are in control and you know exactly what I need in this season of my life.
Never let me forget that your timing is perfect and that although it doesn’t feel
good I still trust in the path you have set before me. I believe that you are and will always be the
Lord of my life and I thank you for the many blessings you have given me. This
life is a gift and for that I thank you.
When I feel weak send a reminder that it’s okay to BE STILL and wait on
you. Let me have unshakable faith and a willingness to grow in every area of
my life. I know that YOU ARE MY GOD and there is nothing that I could do to
take away your love, your love for me runs deeper than the ocean.
Thank you for dying for me and for giving me the gift of salvation.
In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.
