The Power of Forgiveness..

Growing up there were plenty of times my mom took me by the hand and led me over to the person I needed to apologize to. The conversation often went a little like this,

Mom: "Trice now tell ___ you are sorry."
Me: "I am sorry. "
Mom: "For what? You know exactly what you did."
Me (looking up at my mom like really? I thought all I had to do was apologize) "I am sorry for ___"

Now that I am grown I look back on those moments and wonder why would someone spoon feed you an apology? Did I really mean it or was I just doing it so I wouldn't get in anymore trouble? In life we tend to do two things when it comes to the difficult task of forgiveness. We either confront the issue head on or ignore the issue and remind ourselves to deal with it later.

Confronting the issue and getting down to the bottom of things can be difficult for some people, others find that ignoring the problem and dealing with it later gives them a chance to cool down and collect their thoughts. I was always the type of person to ignore the issue, that was until I realized the issue was eating at me and the other person was off living their life. While I was sitting at home waiting on a phone call begging for forgiveness they were out enjoying their life. Forgiveness goes beyond the formalities or the spoon fed apology, forgiveness is a form of freedom and release.
There have been times in my adult life where I was stubborn and chose to hold on to things and it tore me apart, I became angry at the person and in return developed my own version of what really happened failing to face the fact that I was in the wrong.
I will never forget this one particular situation and God had been dealing with me about forgiving this person. I was of course being stubborn but I heard God so clearly, my heart wasn't ready to release the hurt I wanted to have something to hold over their head. I wanted to hold them responsible for the damage they caused me. As the years went by my relationship with that person became toxic, I began to resent them and they in return just gave up on me. God continued to work on my heart and the more I fought the more I was placed in situations where I had to depend on that person to help me. I remember praying one night and I told God, "give me the strength to forgive them and let it go." At that moment I knew God heard me but I also knew I needed to do the work. I took an inventory of my heart I looked at the situation and I looked at how damaged my heart was, my heart was hardened because of the time I allowed to go by without forgiving that person.
I had to make up my mind, I had to remind myself that even if I never received an apology from them I deserved to be free.
Forgiveness is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. Just like Christ forgave his people we need to forgive others.

"And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all offenses they have committed against you." -1 Kings 8:50a


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