God Answered My Prayer... Now What?

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” –Colossians 3:23-24

I had my bags packed and I was off to start this new adventure! I was excited, nervous and scared but I knew that this was what I wanted and God had finally answered my prayer. This was my job, this was my moment and this was my new season all I had to do was embrace it. After a few weeks of training and multiple exams it was official, I had the job and I was relocating to a new city to start my new life.       Now almost two years later I find myself uncomfortable, uneasy and ultimately unfaithful. I am uncomfortable because I am longing for a change but I am too scared to make a move, too scared to step out on faith and ultimately being unfaithful in my commitment to trust God in every season. So what do you do when God finally gives you the desires of your heart and you find yourself years down the line being unfaithful and ungrateful?  I struggled with this question for the past few months, I was losing sight of my calling and I was giving up on my vision.  I wish I could give you the answer to fix your issue or your problem but God is still working on me. I am reminded of the scripture in Colossians chapter three, we are given the instructions for our Christian households. We are reminded that in everything we do we must do it with all our heart. If God opened a door for you and gave you exactly what you wanted then you must be fully committed.  Being unfaithful, uneasy and uncomfortable is the easy way out; it’s an easy excuse to present to our father. But what if God took away everything you asked for and gave you the bare minimum not because he didn’t love you but to show you that your ungratefulness was more of a hindrance than a blessing?  How much more would we have to depend on God if we didn’t have the space or the opportunity to come up with excuses?  The thing I love about our father is that he sees our excuses and our unwillingness to be grateful and still chooses to bless us. He loves us in ways we couldn’t even imagine and he still continues to provide of us.  
God answered my prayer and now it’s my job to not only praise him but to ensure that I am found giving my all in everything he has assigned my hands to do. I no longer have time to half way complete assignments and make excuses for my procrastination.  My unwillingness to grow or change must take a backseat when Christ steps into my life.  I have learned that my unfaithfulness ultimately delayed my next blessing, why would Christ continue to bless me if I couldn’t be faithful over the little he has given me?
I am grateful for this season and for my uncomfortable moments; it’s in this moment that I realize that there is always room for growth and improvement. I embrace this season and will take this time to do some introspection. 
When God answers your prayer, it’s your opportunity to walk confidently in the path he has placed before you. 

I believe in you!

Reflect (Ladies Night at Elevation)

I walked into Reflect not knowing what to expect but willing to open my heart and receive what God had for me. Elevation continues to ignite a fire inside of me and remind me that this journey is worth it. Being in a room filled with women who are all seeking Christ brought me to tears.
Holly preached with such a passion and reminded us that everyone needs a "mirror moment"
I am grateful for my "mirror moment" I was able to come face to face with my fear of seeing who I truly was. I saw that I was unfaithful in many areas in my life & in my spiritual walk.
My "mirror moment" caused me to redirect my focus and make a conscious effort to make a change.
Here I was on my knees surrounded by beautiful women, simply seeking what God wanted to say to me. It was in that moment when I asked God to help me. I didn't know what else to say, I just needed his help. I made an altar right where I sat & came to the realization that even in my unfaithfulness God is and will always be faithful.

Thank you Holly Furtick for allowing Christ to lead you! Reflect 2016 was life changing

Am I Strong Enough?

“You armed me with strength for battle; you humbled my adversaries before me.”-2 Samuel 22:40

It was just a regular day I was working crazy hours and still managed to have enough strength to grab dinner with my coworkers. As dinner was coming to an end I received a phone call and before I knew it my world had shattered into a million pieces. Here I was in Bozeman, Montana with no family or friends to call on it was just me and my broken heart, I began walking back to my hotel room with tears in my eyes. Did I not do enough? Did I ignore the signs? Did I miss too many phone calls? What do I do? What do I say? My mind became flooded with millions of questions and my heart became heavy with regret and guilt. 

I remember reaching for my hotel room key and the moment the door slammed behind me I fell on the floor, everything inside of my wanted to scream and just let it out. It was in that moment I realized that I wasn’t strong enough to handle any of this, but this was when I had to depend on God. I learned that after we have our mini freak out sessions Christ is always there waiting to console us and remind us that he will never put more on us than we can bare. I began playing “Oceans” by Hillsong United and just began crying out to God. Till this day I can’t really explain exactly what took place in that room but I do remember my prayer started changing from “God why? Why is this happening to me? I feel alone” to “God please show me how you want me to handle this situation. I just want you to get the glory out of this story. Let this be a testimony of your unconditional love and mercy. Protect everyone involved and let us see you.” Little did I know the storm was just beginning and every time I saw a glimpse of hope it was snatched right from me, but I kept depending on God and I had to trust that this was all a part of his plan. 

God never said that this walk would be easy, he never said that everything will be sunshine and roses but he did promise to always be there.  I had to realize that everything I needed to endure this battle was already placed inside of me; it was my job to access it and use the tools God gave me to fight this spiritual battle.

I was fighting the battle the wrong way, I was confronting the situation on a physical level and I was quickly reminded that this was a spiritual battle. Not only did I have to be strong but I had to arm myself with HIS word and trust that this battle was already won, I was just waiting to see it manifest. The storm was sent into my life to remind me exactly how strong I am with Christ on my side. Every storm, every battle, every lost and every victory I endured and survived because Christ was right there. For the past year and a half I had to lean on Christ like never before, there were times I laid on the floor too weak to raise my head. I was emotionally, physically and spiritually drained but I had to keep pushing! They needed me, they needed my prayers to surround them at night while they laid alone feeling helpless and alone. They needed somebody to believe in them and to understand this was all a part of HIS plan. It was no longer my assignment to judge or question the situation but to go to God in prayer with an open mind and heart

As I look back over the past year and a half I still feel the pain but I trust that the same God who gave me the strength to endure the silent battle will also heal my hurting heart. I am grateful for this season and for all of the lessons I have learned along the way. I am not sure what the end will look like but I am comforted by the fact that God is and will always be in control! No matter where I am in the world, one mention of his name not only summons his presence but his angels as well. 

Whatever silent battle you are going through, know that God sees and hears all. He is right there watching over you while you sleep and he is always working on your behalf!